Witty, Insightful, and Humorous Quotes

The following quotes are from an excellent collection I very much enjoyed at:  http://www.tk421.net/quotes/

“I would like to be able to admire a man’s opinions as I would his dog – without being expected to take it home with me.”- Frank A. Clark

“As I get older I notice the years less and the seasons more.” – John Hubbard

“Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.” – Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956), Chessmaster

“A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.” – Frank Lloyd Wright (1868-1959)

“Wit is educated insolence.”
– Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)

“Happiness is good health and a bad memory.” – Ingrid Bergman (1917-1982)

“The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.” – Tom Clancy (1947-), paraphrasing Mark Twain

“Do, or do not. There is no ‘try’.”
– Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back

“Destiny is not a matter of change, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.”
– William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925)

“If you want to build a ship, don’t herd people together to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.”
– Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1900-1944)

“Never forget that it is the spirit with which you endow your work that makes it useful or futile.” – Adelaide Hasse (1868-1953)

“All for one; one for all.”
– Alexander Dumas (1824-1895)

“If you haven’t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.”
– Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)

“The problems that exist in the world today cannot be solved by the level of thinking that created them.” – Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

“Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog.”
– Mark Twain (1835-1910)

“A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.”
– Edward Abbey (1927-1989)

“Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.”
– Napoleon Bonaparte (1769-1821)

“After I’m dead I’d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.” – Cato the Elder (234-149 BC, AKA Marcus Porcius Cato)

“When a man is wrapped up in himself he makes a pretty small package.”
– John Ruskin (1819-1900)

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.” – Mark Twain (1835-1910)

“They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist–”
– General John Sedgwick (1813-1864), last words

“I don’t feel good.” – Luther Burbank (1849-1926), last words

“Ask her to wait a moment – I am almost done.”
– Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), when informed that his wife was dying

“99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.” – Unknown

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, prepare to die.”
– Klingon Proverb, Star Trek

“The greatest strength is gentleness.” – Iroquois Proverb

“Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.” – Proverb

“If you lose your temper, you’ve lost the argument.” – Proverb

“Better to light a candle than curse the darkness.” – Chinese Proverb

“I have not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
– Thomas Edison (1874-1931)

“All science is either physics or stamp collecting.”
– Ernest Rutherford (1871-1937)

“The only possible conclusion the social sciences can draw is: some do, some don’t.”

– Ernest Rutherford (1871-1937)

“A witty saying proves nothing.” – Voltaire (1694-1778)

*To this I would argue ‘that may be, Voltaire, but it makes life a darn site more entertaining.’