Category Archives: writing

Need a Little Humor in Your Life?


Don’t we all? These Mom texts (below) gave me a hearty chuckle. I totally get the difficulty with texting (autocorrect) and haven’t even attempted voice text. Navigating the world of acronyms and emoticons is perilous. Uncharted territory. My advice: ‘when in doubt, don’t’.  But you can’t always help it. Like yesterday, I’m  in the garden taking flower pics with my nifty iPhone (from my last birthday) when I spot weeds taunting me. I tuck the phone under my arm and bend down. After a few minutes an alarm blares. I’m so startled I nearly fall into the beans I haven’t picked. Yet. I will.

What the heck? It’s coming from my phone and there’s a red emergency SOS threatening to send. Or did it already go out? Insert panicked bad word here.

I can’t turn the phone off fast enough. Are cop cars gonna roll into my yard demanding the nature of my emergency? I didn’t even know the phone had an alarm, let alone how to engage it.  I do now.

What a monster this deceptively innocent device can be.

Oh, and then there’s the whole Mom Memory lapse thing. I nearly forgot to mention it.

Fortunately, like the moms in this post, I’m blessed with helpful kids. My daughter Alison’s silly goats worked best image wise. It looks like they’re amused, or can’t believe their eyes. I’ve included some ‘best of’ text exchanges between moms and their offspring.

Mom: Hi Bridget I space space space space how space are space you space doing period capitol eye love this new phone exclamation point

Bridget: I see you’re using voice text. You don’t have to say space Mom it does it for you.

Mom: I cucumber lettuce pea Ritalin

Bridget: What? Mom stop just type.

****

Mom: What does IDK, LY and TTYL mean?

Daughter:  I don’t know, love you, talk to you later.

Mom:  OK, I will ask you sister.

****

Mom: Andy, I can’t find my phone. Can you call it so I can track it down?

Andy: I don’t even have time to be quippy, Mom. It’s in your hand.

Mom: What? No it’s not. I’ve got a bag of groceries in my hand. Are you saying it’s in the grocery bag? How do you know these things?

Andy: WHAT ARE YOU TEXTING ME WITH?

Mom: Never mind. I found it. Thanks!

****

Daughter: Mom where are you???

Mom: Leaving Walmart. Halfway home. Why sweetie?

Daughter: You brought me to Walmart with you…

Mom: Oh DARN! Be there in a bit!

Madre: I left my friggin charger in Dayton.

Mom: Do you know how worried I’ve been?

Madre: Mom I’m sorry. I couldn’t get a hold of you.

Mom: I almost broke the treaty to be sure you were OK.

Madre: What treaty? MOM ARE YOU QUOTING TWILIGHT AT ME?

Mom: Yes.

***

Mom: Your great Aunt just passed away. LOL

David: Why is that funny?

Mom: It’s not funny David! What do you mean?

David: Mom lol means laughing out loud!

Mom: Oh my goodness! I sent that to everyone. I thought it meant lots of love! I have to call everyone back. Oh God.

****

Mom: Please stop changing the google logo so much. I like the original one.

Son: Mom I don’t change the logo. Google changes it.

Mom: You don’t run the google?

Son: If I did I wouldn’t be driving a 2004 ford.

Son to his Mum:

Finally, you’ve entered the digital age and got a smartphone!

How is it?

Mum?

Helloooooo???

Why aren’t you answering?

Mum: Howdoyoudoaspace?

****

Son: Got an A in chemistry!

Mom: WTF, well done!!

Son: What do you think WTF means?

Mom: Well that’s fantastic!

****

Mom: Good morning beautiful.  🙂 xoxo Your imaginary boyfriend.

Daughter: Thanks Mom

Mom: Hi Honey how was your day? 8=======D

Daughter: WTF Mom! Why’d you type a penis emoticon???

Mom: I don’t know what you mean. 8=======D is an alien smiley face.

Daughter: No it’s not! It’s a penis. Who told you that?

Mom: Well I saw it in some of your brother’s texts to his girlfriend and when I asked he said it was an alien. Wait so 8=======D~ { (0) } isn’t a space alien getting on a ship?

Daughter: No Mom it isn’t.

****

Mom: I’m learning how to hashtag!

Son: That’s great, Mom.

Mom: Hashtag conversation with son

****

There are a lot of these hilarious Mom texts online. I laughed out loud. LOL.

I don’t write comedy but I do have a keen sense of humor which comes out in my books. For more on me please follow my Amazon Author Page:

https://www.amazon.com/Beth-Trissel/e/B002BLLAJ6

*** Goats like to sit on rather than in their house.

Kicking Off Furbaby Friday


Attention pet loving authors and readers, I’m kicking off a new weekly blog feature in honor of dear little Sadie who was my faithful writing companion, as was my curmudgeonly cuddler, Kitty Percy.

Both Sadie and Percy left me in late winter within a week of each other, and it’s been very hard without them. This is the last image I took of the two by my side. But precious memories go on, and I’m grateful for other writing buddies. Puppy Cooper needs to settle down a bit, but he’s beginning to sit with me when not in scamper mode. Peaches and Cream, who also act as my publicists, are purry pals. Jilly has a seat at my right side while I research and type away on my keyboard. She also has every other seat in the living room if she wants. All surfaces are covered with sheets that can be changed due to her shedding, and I’ve added towels for the occasional puppy puddle. But Cooper is getting better about that, I say cautiously. (Cooper sitting by my knee.)

My furbabies help me to write. I know many authors greatly appreciate their furry companions, and cherish memories of past friends. Peaches and Cream are ready assistants (when not snoozing in a sunbeam), as is Jilly, below, giving me the ‘I didn’t do it look.’ *She did. Kitty Pavel is a funny bird, but does his best.

I rescued these animals, but they are the ones who rescue me. Every day.

My thinking is to have authors share about furbabies who are or have been part of their writing life, and then share the highlights of a recent release. No erotica. Pet pics are essential. If you’re an animal loving author, please message me about a spot at bctrissel@gmail.com or leave me a comment. Or both.

Not Cool but Definitely Qualify as Quirky


the writing fairyCool is a challenging state to achieve and highly difficult to maintain for more than short snippets of time. Consider the pressure involved. Even if I pulled out all the stops and had advisers on ‘cooldom’, I’d wobble like a kid on stilts and tumble from my perch. But weird–I’ve got that down.  Back in my wanna be hippie days, I was approvingly termed ‘freaky’, the hippie term for quirky. Gnarly was never ever within my reach. Granted, my hippie era was a few decades ago, but I’ve hung in there and expanded weird; lends itself well to being an author. We’re a quirky bunch. Mental also applies. Some of us believe in the writing fairy. We call her ‘the muse’.

teaI don’t know who among us in the author world actually qualifies as cool, but suspect not many. Authors live off of caffeine and chocolate until doctors take it away, and even then…I’m not supposed to have either one, but just try getting me through a day without them. Earl Grey is my favorite tea, hot, with milk and sugar, and dark chocolate, flavored with mint, sea salt, and almonds…the specialty kinds.

mountains in early summer

A writer’s residence of choice is a cave, or secluded cabin, in some remote location with good internet and cell phone connections. Here we dwell, or would, while we labor over our next story, snapping at anyone who intrudes in our imaginary world, unless they bring treats.  I swear with a week of uninterrupted time, I could finish my next book. But there’s no such thing, unless I run away. I’ve contemplated a mountain retreat.

Bilbo: “I want to see mountains again, mountains, Gandalf!  And then find somewhere quiet where I can finish my book.”

DarkChocolateSquaresMost writers fall into two different categories, those on meds and those who should be. I’m talking prescription, doctor monitored, meds. Rare are the writers who function well without them. And yes, drinking counts as a med. So does smoking. So does caffeine, but it’s the mildest of all addictions.

Quill Pen, Diary, Writing, Ink Well, Woman's HandApart from a death in the family, possibly our own, nothing matters quite so much to an author as how our work is faring. If the muse is with us, we’re euphoric; if not, we’re down, down, down. 1 star reviews never cease to annoy us, even if we’ve been in this rough and tumble world for years. And, if we have, 1 stars are not justified, probably not 2 stars either. You may not like the story, but that doesn’t mean it was written by an orangutan. Give us a little credit.

“To write is to be vulnerable.” – Unknown

By and large, authors do not take criticism well. After the gnashing of teeth passes, we may apply any constructive insights offered and grow in our craft. Or not. It’s all about the story. If you don’t ‘get it’ that’s your problem. We’re busy writing. It’s what we do. And what would this world be without the storytellers? What if you were fated to write your own?

Writing is a vulnerable state: you bare your soul.

Oh, and most authors like cats. Or dogs. Or both. We write with our furbabies.