So many apocalypse’s are threatening these days, it’s difficult to know which one to hunker down in preparation for. And that’s not even counting the ‘Real’ one. The other evening I was stressed to the max and seeking some mindless escape, when I happened upon Sharknado at Netflix. Seriously (or not so seriously) the premise in this film is that global warming creates a super storm and a wind spout tunnels sharks up into the sky like the ‘debris’ in Twister and deposits them all over California. They also swim in like giant minnows in the pounding waves, come ashore, and consume people standing ankle-deep in the surf. Or on the beach. Or the dock, or the bar near the dock…and they can jump really high. So don’t lean over–anything.
What were these people thinking? Run for the hills! The crazed monsters had already gone after surfers and there was a lot of mayhem and blood in the water. And screams, apparently lost in the pounding surf.
You can always tell which ditz is gonna get eaten. Dude, PAY ATTENTION if you find yourself in a horror film. Be sure you have a last name, that you’re not the Barbie or body builder gazing mindlessly at the churning waters, or the droll, but sadly, expendable side kick. Or fishing. Playing beach ball. And don’t even think about venturing into your living room. In this flick, sharks swim up roads, spill through drainpipes awash in the man eaters, attack underneath and through the roof of cars, shatter glass and break through the windows of homes in Beverly Hills. Here’s where the living room becomes a feeding frenzy. They rage on through LA. Never fear, our noble hero is a wily shark fighter and defender of the clueless. Not that he can save ALL, of course.
I confess to not having finished the entire film yet. I’m taking it in installments. One can only handle so much gripping suspense at a time. But I predict Sharknado will become a cult classic, if it isn’t already. It’s bizarrely entertaining.